Looking over an old 2004 journal, I found an entry about a dream that gave me a new little bit of personal philosophy.
“April 19, 2004 – I had one of those interesting moments early this morning where I gave some definition in my sleep which amounted to utter wisdom. This one was in answer to a testing question given to me in my dream. I never remember the question when I wake and I’m sure that a totally different answer was expected. I know this because of the reaction to my answer.
I literally “stopped traffic” and changed the course of things so thoroughly that the original question was completely erased from the memory of The Questioner. He visualized, so completely, the scene created by my answer, that He admitted that He couldn’t, at all, remember where He was going with the original question; or what He had expected me to say. Whatever it was, it wasn’t as positive as the idea that I came up with.
I believe that the stimulus to the question was the sight of a handful of things (small things like grains of sand) being tossed into the air. I heard myself give the answer: “Life is the time between the split second that something is tossed into the air and the moment that it lands.”
I went on to explain that when it is airborne, it is fluid and can be affected and changed. But that the moment it lands, all becomes fixed and static again. I thought of how a gust of wind could rearrange the airborne particles; or how a chance scattering could occur due to many causes. A hand might move through them, or a bird, or a vehicle. If the particles themselves had a will to move, then their movement was only possible during that freedom time and not before or after the toss-up.
This brief life is the malleable period. How are we responding to the opportunities for movement? How do we create our course of events or react to the unexpected stirrings of our fortune? How do we view the Decline…that inevitable second half of the toss, when we are falling ever closer to the ground; and then, the moment when life ends and the toss-up is completely over?
Do we unreasonably wish that the upward ride would continue forever? Do we want perpetual youth and no end to the toss of the dice? No conclusion? No fortune read?
If so, we are foolishly choosing the half in which we know very little and in which we can only discern the blue of the sky. It is simply the exhilaration of the momentum that we are attracted to; not the time of true possibilities after the apex is attained. On the way down, if we should open our eyes and look about, we would see the vast earth spread out below and we could begin to draw a few conclusions. Perhaps we would decide to ride the wind and aim for those attractive possibilities we see along the way. Maybe we could soar, instead of plummeting like a rock.
Hopefully however, we’d be good sports about the fact that our momentary ride is coming to a conclusion when we see the earth and our own personal landing pad looming ever closer. Who do we think we are, never to come down? Would we really choose to be an “Incomplete Toss?” An “Unconcluded Thing?” An Unfinished Symphony?”
Not I! I want to do it all and I want to fully experience that landing down. Then, when I’m “Somewhere Else,” I’d like to review the toss-up and learn my lessons from it.