This may well be my last journal entry for eight days. Tomorrow morning, I will receive an operation om my eyes. Then I won´t be able to use my eyes for reading, writing, or computer work until Thursday, November 24th…Thanksgiving Day! Well, if I can see better, then that will be good cause for thanks, won´t it?
This morning, I went to the Main Hall of the John of God Casa, looking forward to seeing him after a week of very quiet days while he was in Germany. But, I misunderstood the line I was supposed to wait in and wound up not going before the entity, at all. I had my slip of paper with the translation of my request for healing, but it was awfully general because I guess I´ve been so snobbish about my good health that all I can think of is very general `cover-the-waterfront`sort of stuff. This morning´s paper said: `Health and strength lthrough old age so I may serve God all my life`and also `Healing for my family and loved ones.`But when they never called the 8:00 o´clock line`I was waiting for, I simply stuck that paper in the Triangle on the wall…sort of like the prayer papers in the Wailing Wall.
By this afternoon´s session, my stiff eyes had succeeded in getting my attention and it suddenly occurred to me that I should ask for healing on their behalf. According to my eye doctor, one eye looks up and the other looks down, so I need prisms in my glasses to make them work together. One neuro-opthalmologist said it could be a brain tumor but an MRI led nowhere, so prisms it has been, with updated prescriptions every few years. So, what else is new when you´re seventy-four? I need glasses. So what? My glasses need prisms. So what?
But today, I took the glasses off and took note of how my eyes really feel. Stiff. Squinty, when called upon for face recognition across the room. And I got the translator to ask for healing for my Up/Down Eyes, noting the 4th cranial optic nerve the specialist had singled out as suspicious. So, armed with a real, physical complaint this time, instead of just the `general tune-up if you can find anything wrong`notes I had carried in before, I went, single-file, through the two powerful-energy and fragrant Current Rooms where mediums sit in meditation and, at last, stood before Joao de Deus-in-Entity. This time, he looked directly at me, took my slip of paper without reading it, pointed his finger to each of his eyes and said `Tomorrow morning.`
The only other time I had been before him was my first day at the Casa when he barely looked at me and sent me in for an operation that turned out to be on my abdomen. This time, we communicated and it might have been because I was actually asking for something I needed. Almost as if he was thinking: `Well, I wondered when you´d get around to admitting that you do need my help here! All you have to do is ask!`
A full fifty-percent of the healing process is up to each participant to plumb their own depths and to get honest about what is going on within themselves…to recognize patterns or old habits holding them back and to determine to change what needs changing. I never had eye trouble until my `psychic eyes`blew open at age 42. Maybe they are still a little out of sync with my material eyes? I don´t know, but this is the sort of thing we should try to explore because so much of our bodily complaints often have roots in our spiritual life.
For instance, one of the examples I have recently read about in a book I picked up here was of a man who complained of having a tight chest with lots of congestion. Once he got to examining his life and background, he realized that it was his way of protecting himself against other people…a habit that started in childhood as a way to fend off an over-controlling mother. His chest became his armor against the world and he asked for help with that and during his operation, watched the entities chipping away the calcification he had built up. Lucky him, he could see stuff innerly. Maybe they´ll talk to me since I can only hear. But I´ll just take what I can get and be glad of it.
One result will be to find out exactly how dependent I am on the purpose and entertainment that pages and screens provide. How about it, Yáll? Anybody want to `Fast`along with me and diet from using your eyes for closework until Thanksgiving evening? Perhaps I could set up some spillover healing for you if you go into Recovery with me?