All Uruguyans Are Ascended Zen Masters
January 28, 2014 by admin
It’s patently obvious, after my recent trip to Macro Mercado today, that all Uruguayans, even newborn babies, are Ascended Zen Masters. It is already evident in early childhood, although this claim will never be heard issuing from their modest lips. Why, I wouldn’t be surprised to observe a woman ignoring her labor pains, just to participate in one last Serenity Session.
I suspect that this fact: ….that Uruguay has a standing army of serene, steadfast, High, Celestial Beings, on call to out-patient anyone else on the planet…. is a closely-guarded secret. Their Hidden Upper Level Training Centers are located all over town, disguised as large, modern and well-stocked grocery stores. Any and all are welcome to enter and to compete with their own local champions.
I’ve just returned from one of these Trance Induction Establishments, and I, who pride myself upon my Patience Quotient, was quickly outranked by each and all. I competed with ranking Zen warriors, some of them still in infant carriers. The trick is to fill two carts with massive amounts of groceries, tantalizingly near to closing time; and then, stand in line, preferably, with three children, under five, maintaining your own, and your baby’s, unruffled composure for at least 45 minutes to an hour.
Examples to all, are the truly Ascended Masters in charge; who determine the pace and flow of the liquid lines of shoppers aspiring to attain the parking lot with duly-tabulated, plastic bagged rewards of the hunt. Said hunt is considered to be the ludicrously easy part. So much so, that no one competes within the bowels of the Mercado.
True testing takes place only at the front, where serenely-detached, red-shirted Attendants present your conquered game to women in a trance with beeping wands, calming observing the stately progress of your offerings into conveyances, only free to move when settlement is reached.
A novice, like myself, is but a tourist among The Learned. There is no rushing true Patience, well-attained.
“It will all happen in due time,” is the obvious philosophy of the masses, who conduct happy family meetings and long chats with their children, no doubt covering future college plans; plus, lots of mate’ drinking; while waiting for their particular chance to face the hood-eyed Goddess with the beeping wand. Even though the basket holds their uncooked dinner and children’s homework yet must be done; this is the way it’s always been. Life is good and we are cool.
It’s only newbie North Americans, like me, who wonder why this Cashier Bottleneck couldn’t be improved, somehow, in the overall scheme of things?
But, I’m so comparatively un-ascended, that even my housing complex’s gate has a lesson to try my patience…. especially, after dark. “Just try to open me!” I hear it challenge. And, sure, it took awhile, but I got in, didn’t I? Eventually!
Before the rain turned into such a downpour.
Someday, I’ll be like all these patient Uruguayan souls. I’ve come to study from the Masters!
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