My last blog concerned my answers to a friend turning fifty who was wondering how to deal with the next half-century of her life. Here are more questions and more of my answers from my vast store of experience in plowing through that beautiful challenge:
4. So many of us worry that we’ll get to retirement without resources to afford health care, housing, etc. How do you put those fears in check?
By not worrying about them. I didn’t worry about them when I was young enough to do something about it….ie: Save or buy insurance, etc. So, now it’s too late to start. However, I HAVE gotten to retirement, and lo and behold, I happen to have resources. And these are resources that I couldn’t have foreseen earlier. First, I have a generous social security amount, all because my ex-husband was a doctor and he happened to die a few years ago….and I had the good sense not to have married again and rendered myself ineligible for receiving his social security benefits. That whole scenario could have shaken down in so many ways that it never could have been accurately predicted or counted upon. But, the fact of the matter is, that it shook down very well, all by itself, without my worrying it into place.
Now, if I can figure out all the right moves and actually play my new hand of cards, I see a glimmer of a hint that I can make money in this new world of book publishing and blogging. It will depend solely upon the intelligence and energy that I put into it, and time will tell if I was smart enough to parlay this into something good. But, where is worry in this equation? Nowhere. Worry would be acid to my future. Worry is a killer of potential and possibility. Worry is a toxic relationship with yourself. Worry is a marriage to a powerful Negative Factor. Skeedaddle from worry! Leaving it, as you would leave a bad husband, is your only hope for success in this World Below.
1.) Health Care? – How come people get soooooo invested in worrying about Health Care when they never take care of themselves? All those long years of their lives, they smoke, drink, they have unprotected sex, they eat terrible foods, they sit on their couches, and then they think that somebody owes them something to look after the dreadful result for them and to patch it up and ladle it back on the couch so that they can continue slurping their beer and consuming their potato chips every night in front of their TV.
Tell you what! I don’t owe one penny to one person who has chosen that route through life. And the society which encourages it is broken. I waste no sympathy on either one. Both must either learn to fix themselves, out of desperation, or risk sinking into history as a failed experiment.
2.) Housing – In my experience, things always come out right in the end. We need a whole lot less in the way of shelter than we think we do. I have sojourned in many, many sorts of housing solutions and found them all tolerable, at the very least. My own attitude towards every house that I have ever occupied, including this one, is that it is only temporary. I don’t plan to stay forever, and I will manage in the next situation just as well. That goes for possessions, also. Sure, I tend to accumulate them when I stay still for awhile, always flirting with that new edition of a computer or dandy little gadget, or those clothes on sale…or especially, the thrift shop stuff. But, I also get rid of it all pretty fast when I go into get-out-of-here gear. Basically, in truth, a house can simply turn into a huge and expensive storage box for all the clutter of our life. That’s a mighty heavy shell for all of us turtles to bear.
5. What do you worry about?
(Long silence…thinking…) That I might never taste the elixir of total freedom. Up until this point in my life, except for some solitary years, someone has always depended upon me; waited for me; expected something from me; needed me to be a particular way for them. And, this requirement shapes me in so many ways. I do things for their sake alone.
Now, very likely, this conundrum will turn out to be similar to the freckles on my legs. Acutely aware of their presence at the moment, I would sorely miss them if they disappeared, because most likely that would mean that I no longer had legs. Then, how I would wish for them.
But, I will never really grasp the meaning of the fresh air flag of freedom that I would love to have waving over my head until everyone connected with me has their own life to live and only requires me on their periphery. I don’t worry about it but I do send up little prayers that I might someday know that great release to be truly myself. Until then, I see the many advantages that are the result of this shaping that fate is delivering right at the moment.
For instance, would I ever have sat still long enough to write a book and to learn new technicalities if I had been in charge of my own freedom during these last seven years. Resoundingly, the answer is NO. Seeing the silver lining…making the lemonade…is the answer to worry-prevention.
6. Bonus Question: Why are we not able to accurately see into our future…through God, through psychics, tea leaves, or tarot?
For an excellent reason. We would not be able to correctly interpret what we saw if we did have that capability. Here’s how I realized that fact so profoundly.
If I had been “shown” thirty or forty years ago, when I was living right here in Clearwater, raising my young children and married to a man I didn’t love, a glimpse of myself in 2011, and been told the circumstances of that particular day, (but of course, not of all the days in between,) I would have seen myself, in my seventies, still living in the same city; taking care of my son; in a house bought by my deceased husband; and I would have even spotted myself driving his hand-me-down yellow pickup truck. Now, what would be my natural conclusion after having been given that perfectly accurate vision?
Surely, I would then assume that I had never left the man; that I had never become my own person and roamed the world; that I had never tried out many living situations in many cities of the world and within this country. So, naturally, I would erroneously conclude that I had never taken that great leap into the unknown, thereby winning freedom from my marriage.
Most likely, that very knowledge would have killed the courage building up inside of me to take things into my own hands and to start all over on my own. Then, thinking that it was in the cards to stay where I was, I would do nothing about my own emancipation, and would thus, change the course of my own history. What damage would have been done by that one peek into my future? Untold damage!
So, we must never want to know these things before they reveal themselves in their own good time.
Another thing that we should do, if we are really smart about it: Don’t ever ask God for something specific. Sure, you might get it. But, what if He had something bigger in mind for you? Something much more wonderful than your earthbound and limited imagination could foresee? Now that you have sent up a specific prayer, He might grant that and put the wonderful and special future back on the shelf. You would never know what you had missed, just because of your impatience.
I always say to Him: “Surprise me, My Love!” And He does. All the time!
A friend of mine, with a fiftieth birthday looming, was beginning to see life, suddenly, through different eyes. Because I had crossed that same territory quite a few years earlier, she interviewed me about the view from where I now stood and she was heading:
1. I’m getting older and now I see where there are times when I’m the oldest person in the room. How do you make peace with age? How do you stay young as you grow old?
You must remember that you are just on the cusp of “getting older” so you haven’t gotten used to it yet. Though you’re still in your forties, the big five-oh is approaching and that is a mental landmark, just as the big four-oh was. Take a minute to wrap your mind around this Mental Factor. Remember how it felt to be 39.9? That’s behind you now and you’ve made your peace with your forties. It’s the same deal with every decade but happy people figure out the charade that numbers can create and they begin to delight in the joke of it all. So, by the time you reach seventy, like I have, it’s just hilarious.
In the room? Yes, there’s a relativity but I find that distance between myself and another person is created by something more intangible than an obvious factor like age. I’m checking for “personal vibes” and if I find the rare individual with whom I’m in sync, then all other factors disappear. We both communicate on a rather mysterious wavelength. For those without the vibes.….ultimately, the fact of the matter is that we only occupied the same space together for a brief while. How old either of us is has no bearing on the matter.
Make peace? I love the idea that I am moving inexorably towards the end of life. My curiosity about what is next will someday be satisfied and I can’t wait. In the meantime, I think up things to keep me busy. It’s like I am “moving towards something,” and the years are the yardstick.
Stay young? I am younger now than ever. Back when I was a new mother chasing children around, I was pretty young and enthusiastic, bouncing with new ideas and abundant creativity, but I wasn’t as happy as I am now. It’s the core of a person which determines this. We must be in touch with our own core and this involves contemplation and communication with the mysteries, with God. Our core has carried us through many lives and is the part that flows out of this life and into the state of being that we will find ourselves in after death. Aging can’t change that core though it can enhance it. Either that, or it makes our outer covering more transparent so that what is inside can shine out ever more effectively.
2. It is depressing as I watch my friends get sick and sometimes die now. How do you cope with that?
I don’t know. I don’t “cope” with it. I don’t know very many people who have sickened and died. Well, let’s use Jean as an example. She was, and still is, dear to me. Last year at this time, we all had just shared that dinner on my birthday. Though she probably already had the pancreatic cancer, no one knew about it, including herself. When she did find out, things were nearing their conclusion.
She was very private about her exit and her children took charge and protected her from the rest of us because she really didn’t want us to see the wasting away and the pain she was going through. So, I could only witness her decline from afar. We had talked about death before her troops circled close and we both felt similarly happy about the whole idea of leaving the earth. She had lived life very well; had seen her children, and even a grandchild, into adulthood and felt that God had certainly kept His side of the bargain to allow her to raise them as a widow. She was totally content and at peace. She also completely loved God and had a lifelong close relationship with Him.
The only difference that I can imagine in how I would do the same, given similar circumstances, would be that I will not “battle” (as in chemo/radiation) my final diagnosis. I will embrace it. So sez I, at this moment, anyway. I didn’t grieve for Jean. I just saluted her for a life well lived, a death well done, and sent her a cheery “See ‘ya later, alligator!” in my mind. Where do you think that our Intergalactic Friends come from anyway? We have said goodbye to them in some long ago someplace, and then we run into them again in another life. Naturally, we recognize them and are happy to take up where we left off.
3. What are three things you used to worry about that weren’t worth the trouble?
Oh, that’s easy. At least, I can think of one thing: the freckles on my legs. They gave me a lot of trouble, psychologically, in high school. My big nose in profile. And, my flabby thighs. That’s about it.
But, actually, I love my dear legs, including those not-that-flabby-anymore thighs, because they are so strong and they try so hard and succeed so brilliantly at carrying me and my backpack all over the world. They want to please and I wouldn’t trade them in for anything. And my nose is so helpful to me. It breathes very well, albeit a little stuffily from living in this airtight house. I sure wouldn’t want to do without my nose. No sirreee!
Perhaps I did have the phenomenon of worry, back when I was in a toxic marriage. “What should I do? When should I leave?” If I hadn’t listened to myself and made my careful twelve-year plans (till the children grew and left) to skeedaddle, then I would have been a big bag of worries by now, because I would have opted out on my own life.
(This interview will continue on my next post.)
I recently spoke at a local library about my book, In Secret Diffusion: The Upper Realm Answers Questions About Earth. The audience contributed new questions to ask The Holy Spirit:
1. Paris Hilton, representative of someone born in great wealth, perceived by the public as a flighty party girl and then considering the opposite end of the scale, a child born to a drug-addicted parent, with no advantages and a whole lot of built-in obstacles. I’m not sure exactly what the question is, so let’s take it from different angles. A. Where’s the justice?
“Well, birth is not about justice. It is not, automatically, about any one particular concept or rationale. There could be many reasons for selection of birth circumstances and those could be opposite. For instance, someone may have reduced their capacities to a minimal level and they would gravitate to a level that matches the qualities they had wound up with in a previous life. They would be on a downward spiral and would not have the character development to push them into the more energy-consuming realms.”
I can see how a lower level of human life would result in the bare-existence of a crack-house life, which discourages elevation and advancement of a soul due to a lack of almost all of the basic opportunities and that it would be difficult to overcome in a new lifetime. So, let’s say a “low-energy soul” might be pulled there simply because that’s their watermark. Do high-energy souls, awakened and connected souls, ever choose to be born into such rude and deprived conditions, either for the help they can give others there, or for their own spiritual challenges?
“Y.E.S! For both of those reasons. You cannot judge anyone in whatever circumstances, especially birth circumstances, before they have gotten their teeth into life. Wonderful, wonderful things can come of these rude circumstances, though it is very, very hard to break out of a spiral caused by such mean circumstances. Think of a champion swimmer, who dives into a whirlpool, confident that it won’t kill him. It is dangerous enough to come into a normal earth life, but it’s like coming in without any skin for those who are born at the crack-house level.”
But we can’t suppose that the opposite end of the spectrum – to be born to great wealth, is any better, just because it is the polar opposite, can we?
This is true. It’s often just as bleak and just as damaging to the psyche to be the offspring of very rich people. Money has nothing to do with how people turn out spiritually, except that the two extremes are the harder tests. When money is present in moderation, then the human character itself, has a chance to sprout and flourish. Paris is actually handling herself pretty well. She is not crashing and burning and seems to navigate her lifestyle with individual panache. And she does it in the glare of the public eye. Many people couldn’t handle it to that extent but she has become the symbol for the silver spoon generation, nowadays.”
Before we leave this question, I see that the question included: “will she be judged” in the same way that a crack baby will be judged? Rather than a yay or a nay, would You just speak about this business of “being judged?” What is the deal about that?
“We don’t judge exactly, since that is not why people go in. An earth life is not a contest, in which they are shooting for anything compared to anyone else’s performance. We are not the judge’s panel on American Idol, for instance. We are letting them judge themselves and We are simply observing. You judge yourself – pretty harshly sometimes…. if you fail to do the work you have set for yourself.
But We aren’t judging anybody. They are simply judging themselves – needlessly, as it turns out, because We just watch and see whether they grow or not. There it is. In a nutshell! Growth happens or they become stunted and begin to shrink. They will be the proof of their own efforts. Not at all, Us.