This Little Old Bride Got Big
August 23, 2009 by rtwsenior
Here are a few excuses for not blogging last week: I had company. My book manuscript came first. The weather was sunny; the beach was nice. I couldn’t think of anything to write about. Okay, I’m forgiven…but I had a good dream last night which I will now share with you. Maybe it has a hidden message.
I dreamed that I had a job producing a television series about weddings. A camera crew would follow a bride during the months leading up to the wedding and then the program would consist of the highlights of planning, as well as the ceremony, in one complete show.
Well, one of the brides was an elderly movie star…she’s the one who played Archie Bunker’s wife. You all can remember her name; I cannot, right at this moment… Jean Stapleton, I think. Anyway, when the composite version was edited together, it was obvious that the bride had expanded greatly during the months of preparation. All through this time, she had announced and completely believed, that she was on a serious diet. But, month by month, during filming, she became larger and larger.
Now, we know that she wasn’t pregnant. The moment of truth, for her, came at the second fitting of the bridal gown. It wouldn’t zip up behind by many inches now, whereas, after the first fitting some months earlier, it had been custom measured. A study of the filmed record showed her nibbling on power bars in almost every shot, and the fact emerged that she had invented a diet for herself during which she refused all food, throughout those many months, except for a protein-packed, chocolate-covered, brand of power bar. The trouble was that she had eaten them throughout the day, maybe a dozen or more daily, instead of using them as a meal replacement. If they were a healthy food substitute, then “more is better,” was her philosophy.
Consequently, the nationally-televised wedding saga was really a public viewing of a reverse diet and a newly-addicted health food nut. However, far from this being any sort of a tragedy, the bride and groom treated it like a “Woops!” moment; had a good laugh, and went on to have a happy life together.
Two questions occur to me: Was the groom Archie? Did I tap into a dream version prequel to Happy Days?
More likely, the dream was a caution to me, since I went to bed feeling a bit fat, having by now, packed on eight pounds since returning home three months ago from South America. Also, I have a carton and a half of chocolate-covered power bars in my fridge!!!
Now, all that’s missing for me is the groom and the camera crew.